How Do Doctors Know if You Are a Borderline Personality Disorder

personality disorders

Deadline Personality Disorder (BPD)

If you have BPD, everything feels unstable: your relationships, moods, thinking, behavior—even your identity. Just in that location is hope and this guide to symptoms, treatment, and recovery can aid.

What is borderline personality disorder (BPD)?

If you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you probably feel like yous're on a rollercoaster—and not only considering of your unstable emotions or relationships, only also the wavering sense of who you are. Your self-image, goals, and even your likes and dislikes may change oft in ways that feel confusing and unclear.

People with BPD tend to be extremely sensitive. Some describe it as like having an exposed nerve ending. Pocket-sized things can trigger intense reactions. And once upset, you have trouble calming down. It's easy to understand how this emotional volatility and inability to cocky-soothe leads to human relationship turmoil and impulsive—even reckless—beliefs.

When you're in the throes of overwhelming emotions, you're unable to think straight or stay grounded. You may say hurtful things or human activity out in dangerous or inappropriate means that make you feel guilty or ashamed afterwards. It'due south a painful cycle that can feel impossible to escape. But it's not. In that location are effective BPD treatments and coping skills that can help you lot feel better and dorsum in control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

BPD is treatable

In the past, many mental wellness professionals institute it difficult to treat borderline personality disorder (BPD), so they came to the conclusion that at that place was footling to exist washed. But we now know that BPD is treatable. In fact, the long-term prognosis for BPD is better than those for depression and bipolar disorder. Nonetheless, it requires a specialized approach. The bottom line is that nearly people with BPD can and do become better—and they practise then fairly rapidly with the right treatments and support.

[Read: Helping Someone with Deadline Personality Disorder]

Healing is a matter of breaking the dysfunctional patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that are causing you lot distress. It's non easy to change lifelong habits. Choosing to intermission, reflect, and so act in new means volition feel unnatural and uncomfortable at first. But with fourth dimension you'll class new habits that help yous maintain your emotional residual and stay in control.

Recognizing borderline personality disorder

Exercise you place with the post-obit statements?

I oftentimes experience "empty."
My emotions shift very apace, and I often experience farthermost sadness, anger, and anxiety.
I'm constantly agape that the people I care about will abandon me or go out me.
I would describe most of my romantic relationships as intense, but unstable.
The manner I feel about the people in my life tin dramatically change from i moment to the next—and I don't always understand why.
I often exercise things that I know are dangerous or unhealthy, such as driving recklessly, having dangerous sex, binge drinking, using drugs, or going on spending sprees.
I've attempted to hurt myself, engaged in self-harm behaviors such as cut, or threatened suicide.
When I'm feeling insecure in a relationship, I tend to lash out or make impulsive gestures to keep the other person shut.

If you lot place with several of the statements, you may suffer from borderline personality disorder. Of course, you need a mental health professional to make an official diagnosis, as BPD tin be easily confused with other bug. But even without a diagnosis, you may find the self-assistance tips in this article helpful for calming your inner emotional storm and learning to control cocky-damaging impulses.

Signs and symptoms

Borderline personality disorder (BPD) manifests in many different ways, but for the purposes of diagnosis, mental health professionals grouping the symptoms into nine major categories. In gild to exist diagnosed with BPD, you must bear witness signs of at least v of these symptoms. Furthermore, the symptoms must exist long-standing (commonly start in boyhood) and impact many areas of your life.

The nine symptoms of BPD

Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of existence abandoned or left alone. Even something as innocuous equally a loved one arriving abode belatedly from piece of work or going abroad for the weekend may trigger intense fright. This can prompt frantic efforts to keep the other person shut. You may beg, cling, start fights, rails your loved 1's movements, or even physically block the person from leaving. Unfortunately, this beliefs tends to have the opposite effect—driving others away.
Unstable relationships. People with BPD tend to accept relationships that are intense and short-lived. Y'all may fall in love quickly, assertive that each new person is the one who volition make you lot feel whole, only to exist quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. Your lovers, friends, or family members may feel similar they accept emotional whiplash as a effect of your rapid swings from idealization to devaluation, anger, and hate.
Unclear or shifting self-image. When yous have BPD, your sense of cocky is typically unstable. Sometimes you may feel expert about yourself, but other times you hate yourself, or even view yourself every bit evil. Y'all probably don't accept a clear idea of who yous are or what y'all want in life. Equally a result, you may frequently change jobs, friends, lovers, religion, values, goals, or even sexual identity.
Impulsive, cocky-destructive behaviors. If you take BPD, you lot may appoint in harmful, awareness-seeking behaviors, specially when you're upset. You lot may impulsively spend money you can't afford, rampage eat, drive recklessly, shoplift, engage in risky sex, or overdo it with drugs or alcohol. These risky behaviors may aid you feel better in the moment, but they hurt you and those effectually you lot over the long-term.
Self-harm. Suicidal behavior and deliberate cocky-damage is common in people with BPD. Suicidal beliefs includes thinking near suicide, making suicidal gestures or threats, or actually carrying out a suicide attempt. Self-harm encompasses all other attempts to hurt yourself without suicidal intent. Common forms of self-harm include cut and called-for.
Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are mutual with BPD. 1 moment, you may experience happy, and the next, despondent. Little things that other people castor off can send you into an emotional tailspin. These mood swings are intense, merely they tend to pass fairly quickly (different the emotional swings of depression or bipolar disorder), usually lasting just a few minutes or hours.
Chronic feelings of emptiness. People with BPD often talk nigh feeling empty, every bit if there's a hole or a void inside them. At the extreme, you may feel as if you're "nil" or "nobody." This feeling is uncomfortable, so you may try to fill the void with things like drugs, food, or sex. Only nothing feels truly satisfying.
Explosive acrimony. If you have BPD, you may struggle with intense anger and a brusk temper. You may also have trouble controlling yourself once the fuse is lit—yelling, throwing things, or becoming completely consumed past rage. It's important to note that this anger isn't always directed outwards. You may spend a lot of time feeling angry at yourself.
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. People with BPD oft struggle with paranoia or suspicious thoughts nearly others' motives. When under stress, you may fifty-fifty lose bear on with reality—an feel known as dissociation. Y'all may feel foggy, spaced out, or as if you're outside your own torso.

Common co-occurring disorders

Borderline personality disorder is rarely diagnosed on its own. Mutual co-occurring disorders include:

depression or bipolar disorder
substance corruption
eating disorders
anxiety disorders

When BPD is successfully treated, the other disorders oftentimes go ameliorate, likewise. Simply the reverse isn't always truthful. For example, you may successfully treat symptoms of low and even so struggle with BPD.

Causes—and hope

Most mental health professionals believe that borderline personality disorder (BPD) is acquired by a combination of inherited or internal biological factors and external environmental factors, such every bit traumatic experiences in babyhood.

Brain differences

There are many complex things happening in the BPD brain, and researchers are still untangling what it all means. Merely in essence, if you have BPD, your encephalon is on loftier alarm. Things feel more scary and stressful to you than they do to other people. Your fight-or-flight switch is easily tripped, and once it's on, it hijacks your rational brain, triggering primitive survival instincts that aren't e'er advisable to the situation at hand.

This may make it audio as if there's nothing you can do. Afterwards all, what tin you do if your brain is unlike? But the truth is that you tin alter your brain. Every time you practice a new coping response or self-soothing technique yous are creating new neural pathways. Some treatments, such as mindfulness meditation, can even abound your brain matter. And the more you practise, the stronger and more automatic these pathways will become. And so don't give up! With time and dedication, you lot can change the fashion you call back, feel, and human action.

Personality disorders and stigma

When psychologists talk most "personality," they're referring to the patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that brand each of us unique. No i acts exactly the same all the time, but we practice tend to interact and engage with the earth in fairly consistent means. This is why people are often described as "shy," "outgoing," "meticulous," "fun-loving," and so on. These are elements of personality.

Because personality is then intrinsically continued to identity, the term "personality disorder" might leave you feeling like there's something fundamentally incorrect with who you are. But a personality disorder is not a graphic symbol judgment. In clinical terms, "personality disorder" ways that your pattern of relating to the globe is significantly different from the norm. (In other words, you don't human action in means that most people await). This causes consequent problems for you in many areas of your life, such as your relationships, career, and your feelings about yourself and others. But virtually importantly, these patterns can be changed!

Cocky-assist tips: 3 keys to coping with BPD

Calm the emotional tempest
Learn to command impulsivity and tolerate distress
Meliorate your interpersonal skills

Self-help tip ane: Calm the emotional tempest

Every bit someone with BPD, you lot've probably spent a lot of fourth dimension fighting your impulses and emotions, then acceptance tin be a tough thing to wrap your mind around. But accepting your emotions doesn't hateful blessing of them or resigning yourself to suffering. All it means is that you lot terminate trying to fight, avoid, suppress, or deny what y'all're feeling. Giving yourself permission to accept these feelings can accept away a lot of their power.

Try to simply feel your feelings without judgment or criticism. Permit go of the past and the time to come and focus exclusively on the present moment. Mindfulness techniques can be very effective in this regard.

Start by observing your emotions, every bit if from the outside.
Sentinel equally they come up and go (it may help to think of them every bit waves).
Focus on the physical sensations that back-trail your emotions.
Tell yourself that you have what yous're feeling right now.
Remind yourself that merely because yous're feeling something doesn't mean it'southward reality.

[Listen: Eye of the Storm Meditation]

Do something that stimulates ane or more of your senses

Engaging your sense is one of the quickest and easiest means to apace self-soothe. You lot will need to experiment to discover out which sensory-based stimulation works best for you. You'll also need dissimilar strategies for different moods. What may aid when you're angry or agitated is very different from what may aid when y'all're numb or depressed. Here are some ideas to get started:

Bear upon. If you're not feeling enough, attempt running cold or hot (but not scalding hot) water over your hands; hold a piece of ice; or grip an object or the edge of a piece of article of furniture as tightly as you tin. If y'all're feeling also much, and demand to at-home downward, try taking a hot bath or shower; snuggling under the bed covers, or cuddling with a pet.

Taste. If you're feeling empty and numb, endeavor sucking on stiff-flavored mints or candies, or slowly consume something with an intense season, such as salt-and-vinegar fries. If you want to calm down, endeavor something soothing such as hot tea or soup.

Olfactory property. Light a candle, smell the flowers, try aromatherapy, spritz your favorite perfume, or whip up something in the kitchen that smells good. Yous may find that you answer best to strong smells, such as citrus, spices, and incense.

Sight. Focus on an image that captures your attention. This can exist something in your immediate environment (a great view, a cute blossom arrangement, a favorite painting or photograph) or something in your imagination that you visualize.

Sound. Try listening to loud music, ringing a buzzer, or blowing a whistle when you need a jolt. To calm down, plow on soothing music or listen to the soothing sounds of nature, such as wind, birds, or the ocean. A sound machine works well if you can't hear the real thing.

Reduce your emotional vulnerability

You lot're more probable to experience negative emotions when you're run down and under stress. That'southward why it'southward very important to take care of your physical and mental well-being.

Take intendance of yourself by:

Avoid mood-altering drugs
Eating a counterbalanced, nutritious nutrition
Getting plenty of quality slumber
Exercising regularly
Minimizing stress
Practicing relaxation techniques

Tip 2: Acquire to control impulsivity and tolerate distress

The calming techniques discussed above can help you relax when y'all're starting to become batty by stress. But what do you lot practice when you lot're feeling overwhelmed by difficult feelings? This is where the impulsivity of borderline personality disorder (BPD) comes in. In the estrus of the moment, you're so desperate for relief that you'll do anything, including things you know you shouldn't—such as cutting, reckless sex activity, dangerous driving, and binge drinking. It may even feel similar you don't have a choice.

Moving from beingness out of control of your behavior to being in control

It'south important to recognize that these impulsive behaviors serve a purpose. They're coping mechanisms for dealing with distress. They make you feel better, even if just for a brief moment. But the long-term costs are extremely high.

Regaining control of your beliefs starts with learning to tolerate distress. Information technology'south the key to irresolute the subversive patterns of BPD. The ability to tolerate distress will help you printing pause when you have the urge to act out. Instead of reacting to difficult emotions with self-subversive behaviors, you lot volition learn to ride them out while remaining in control of the experience.

For a step-past-step, self-guided program that will teach you how to ride the "wild equus caballus" of overwhelming feelings, cheque out our complimentary Emotional Intelligence Toolkit. The toolkit teaches you how to:

go far touch with your emotions
live with emotional intensity
manage unpleasant or threatening feelings
stay calm and focused even in upsetting situations

The toolkit volition teach you lot how to tolerate distress, but it doesn't end there. It volition also teach you how to move from existence emotionally shut down to experiencing your emotions fully. This allows you to experience the full range of positive emotions such as joy, peace, and fulfillment that are also cut off when yous try to avoid negative feelings.

A grounding do to help you pause and regain command

One time the fight-or-flight response is triggered, in that location is no way to "call back yourself" calm. Instead of focusing on your thoughts, focus on what you're feeling in your body. The following grounding exercise is a uncomplicated, quick fashion to put the brakes on impulsivity, calm downwards, and regain control. It tin can make a large departure in merely a few short minutes.

Observe a quiet spot and sit in a comfortable position.

Focus on what yous're experiencing in your body. Feel the surface you lot're sitting on. Feel your anxiety on the flooring. Feel your hands in your lap.

Concentrate on your breathing, taking slow, deep breaths. Breathe in slowly. Pause for a count of three. So slowly exhale out, once again pausing for a count of iii. Go on to do this for several minutes.

In case of emergency, distract yourself

If your attempts to calm down aren't working and you're starting to feel overwhelmed by subversive urges, distracting yourself may help. All you demand is something to capture your focus long enough for the negative impulse to become away. Anything that draws your attention can work, simply lark is almost effective when the activity is too soothing. In addition to the sensory-based strategies mentioned previously, here are some things you lot might endeavor:

Watch Boob tube. Choose something that's the opposite of what you're feeling: a comedy, if you're feeling sad, or something relaxing if y'all're aroused or agitated.

Exercise something you savour that keeps you lot busy. This could be annihilation: gardening, painting, playing an musical instrument, knitting, reading a volume, playing a figurer game, or doing a Sudoku or give-and-take puzzle.

Throw yourself into work. You can also distract yourself with chores and errands: cleaning your house, doing thou piece of work, going grocery shopping, grooming your pet, or doing the laundry.

Get active. Vigorous exercise is a salubrious way to get your adrenaline pumping and permit off steam. If you lot're feeling stressed, you may desire to try more relaxing activities such as yoga or a walk around your neighborhood.

Phone call a friend. Talking to someone you trust tin can exist a quick and highly effective way to distract yourself, feel better, and proceeds some perspective.

Tip 3: Improve your interpersonal skills

If yous accept borderline personality disorder, you've probably struggled with maintaining stable, satisfying relationships with lovers, co-workers, and friends. This is because you have trouble stepping back and seeing things from other people'south perspective. You lot tend to misread the thoughts and feelings of others, misunderstand how others see you lot, and overlook how they're afflicted by your behavior. It's not that yous don't intendance, but when it comes to other people, you have a big bullheaded spot. Recognizing your interpersonal bullheaded spot is the showtime step. When you lot cease blaming others, you tin start taking steps to amend your relationships and your social skills.

Check your assumptions

When you're derailed past stress and negativity, every bit people with BPD often are, it's piece of cake to misread the intentions of others. If yous're aware of this trend, check your assumptions. Remember, yous're not a mind reader! Instead of jumping to (usually negative) conclusions, consider culling motivations. As an example, let's say that your partner was abrupt with you on the phone and at present you lot're feeling insecure and agape they've lost interest in yous. Before y'all human activity on those feelings:

Finish to consider the different possibilities. Maybe your partner is under pressure at work. Maybe he's having a stressful 24-hour interval. Maybe he hasn't had his java still. At that place are many alternative explanations for his behavior.

Ask the person to clarify their intentions. 1 of the simplest ways to bank check your assumptions is to ask the other person what they're thinking or feeling. Double check what they meant past their words or actions. Instead of asking in an accusatory manner, try a softer arroyo: "I could be wrong, but it feels like…" or "Possibly I'g being overly sensitive, simply I get the sense that…"

Put a finish to projection

Do you have a tendency to take your negative feelings and projection them on to other people? Do you lot lash out at others when you're feeling bad nigh yourself? Does feedback or effective criticism experience similar a personal attack? If and then, yous may accept a trouble with projection.

To fight projection, y'all'll demand to learn to apply the brakes—merely similar you did to adjourn your impulsive behaviors. Tune in to your emotions and the concrete sensations in your body. Take notation of signs of stress, such as rapid centre rate, musculus tension, sweating, nausea, or light-headedness. When you lot're feeling this way, you're likely to get on the attack and say something you lot'll regret later on. Pause and take a few slow deep breaths. Then ask yourself the following iii questions:

Am I upset with myself?
Am I feeling ashamed or afraid?
Am I worried near being abandoned?

If the answer is yes, accept a chat pause. Tell the other person that you're feeling emotional and would like some time to think before discussing things further.

Take responsibleness for your role

Finally, it's of import to take responsibleness for the office you play in your relationships. Ask yourself how your actions might contribute to problems. How exercise your words and behaviors make your loved ones experience? Are you lot falling into the trap of seeing the other person equally either all skilful or all bad? As you make an effort to put yourself in other people's shoes, give them the do good of the doubt, and reduce your defensiveness, you'll start to notice a deviation in the quality of your relationships.

Diagnosis and treatment

Information technology'south important to remember that you lot can't diagnose borderline personality disorder on your own. So if y'all think that you or a loved ane may be suffering from BPD, it's best to seek professional help. BPD is ofttimes confused or overlaps with other weather condition, then yous need a mental health professional to evaluate you and make an accurate diagnosis. Try to find someone with experience diagnosing and treating BPD.

The importance of finding the correct therapist

The support and guidance of a qualified therapist tin make a huge divergence in BPD treatment and recovery. Therapy may serve as a safe infinite where you tin start working through your relationship and trust issues and "try on" new coping techniques.

An experienced professional will be familiar with BPD therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) and schema-focused therapy. But while these therapies have proven to be helpful, it's not always necessary to follow a specific treatment arroyo. Many experts believe that weekly therapy involving teaching about the disorder, family back up, and social and emotional skills training tin treat most BPD cases.

Information technology's important to take the fourth dimension to detect a therapist you lot feel prophylactic with—someone who seems to get you and makes you feel accepted and understood. Have your time finding the right person. Simply once you do, make a commitment to therapy. Yous may outset out thinking that your therapist is going to be your savior, only to become disillusioned and feel like they have nothing to offer. Retrieve that these swings from idealization to demonization are a symptom of BPD. Try to stick it out with your therapist and allow the relationship to grow. And go along in heed that change, by its very nature, is uncomfortable. If you lot don't always feel uncomfortable in therapy, you lot're probably not progressing.

Don't count on a medication cure

Although many people with BPD take medication, the fact is that there is very picayune enquiry showing that it is helpful. What'south more, in the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has not approved whatsoever medications for the treatment of BPD. This doesn't mean that medication is never helpful—especially if yous endure from co-occurring problems such as depression or anxiety—but information technology is not a cure for BPD itself.

When it comes to BPD, therapy is much more effective. You just have to requite information technology time. However, your doctor may consider medication if:

Yous have been diagnosed with both BPD and depression or bipolar disorder.
You lot endure from panic attacks or astringent anxiety.
You brainstorm hallucinating or having bizarre, paranoid thoughts.
You are feeling suicidal or at take a chance of hurting yourself or others.

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Source: https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-disorders/borderline-personality-disorder.htm